Ooohkay this was such a wonderful gift to read this morning, still in my pj’s, and my French press all but gone. It brought back memories of how my grandmother, a poet and lover of beauty, would describe the changing of summer (her prime) to fall/winter, and the connection to her mother’s retreat into herself during the cold months. In the summer, my great-grandmother would play the guitar and sing for her children, but in the winter the sharecropper’s humble house became quiet. I think there must be a cycle of seasons for the creative soul…
Thank you for sharing! What a beautiful story about your grandmother. I love that idea of her creativity flowing with the seasons in that way—makes me think of Persephone’s departure and return in Greek mythology. ☺️
I used to think our own feelings about the seasons were personal, but maybe they’re location-specific? For example, I grew up in the mountains, where fall and winter were magical times of year. They were my favorites, but now, living along the coast, our fall and winter have none of the pleasantries and all of the inconveniences. Here, summer’s really the season. I never previously considered that my preferences were based on where I live, but now, I have to admit that it’s possible.
That's an interesting thought, about location. I lived most of my childhood in Texas, which had no autumn or winter to really speak of, and then my high school years in Iowa, which has a much more intense cold, but it's incredibly bright in the winter because the heaps of snow reflect the sun and the sky is so blue and clear. Now, I'm in Tennessee, which is sort of a weird half-cold, half-gloomy, half-colorful, and dark in the autumn/winter. But I have a bent towards seasonal affective disorder (no light = no energy), so the loss of light is the main source of my associations. I do think the pagan world/church calendar bears me out in thinking of the year as a cycle of life to decay to death to new life, though--even though all the seasons are beautiful in their own way! I'm definitely not oblivious to the magic of autumn, but it's a proper sense of magic--one that may be beautiful, but sad, or alluring, but not safe.
Also, sidenote, but your recent poem was great! Really enjoyed that one.
Hey, thanks! The lack of light is indeed an interesting problem. Where I am now, winter is for dark, gloomy days with fewer daylight hours. It’s pretty terrible. But when I was growing up, it was so bright from the sun and the snow that you needed sunglasses then, but far less so in the summer.
I also agree about natural cycles. Each year I’ve been trying to get more deliberate about respecting that.
Great essay! …Excessive Fall decor really can be so abrasive..Autumn is so short and beautiful …it really is a pity that people feel the need to mask this beauty instead of just letting it speak for itself. Love your thoughts on Durer too.
Thanks and thanks for reading! I think when I see all the crazy fall merch and everything, to me, it feels more like the old druidic rites--it's a way to try and cope with the dying of the seasons that happens as the year changes: the year gets dark and cold, and we want to be cozy and festive to fight that. (With the exception of Halloween, which is like, doors wide open.) So I understand the feeling like you need to "mask" what autumn itself is. But that's probably not what most people think when they buy a pumpkin spice latte. (I tend towards seasonal depression, so my read on autumn/winter is that it's just The Worst, and I know that's not how everyone feels.) I do think fall is beautiful, it's just beautiful 1) the way that tragic things are beautiful and 2) because it doesn't last, but leads back into spring, which is a lived reminder of the Resurrection. But maybe that's what you're saying too. :)
Haha, yeah, my favorite way to write an essay is to throw a bunch of images/stories at the reader and then at the very end be like, "look! Here's the point!" I get that from Annie Dillard. I appreciate you reading and the thoughts!
Ooohkay this was such a wonderful gift to read this morning, still in my pj’s, and my French press all but gone. It brought back memories of how my grandmother, a poet and lover of beauty, would describe the changing of summer (her prime) to fall/winter, and the connection to her mother’s retreat into herself during the cold months. In the summer, my great-grandmother would play the guitar and sing for her children, but in the winter the sharecropper’s humble house became quiet. I think there must be a cycle of seasons for the creative soul…
Thank you for sharing! What a beautiful story about your grandmother. I love that idea of her creativity flowing with the seasons in that way—makes me think of Persephone’s departure and return in Greek mythology. ☺️
*grandmother and great-grandmother. :)
Fabulous writing as always!
Thank you Thomas! Looking forward to sitting down with your new post sometime soon. :)
Thanks so much for sharing!
I used to think our own feelings about the seasons were personal, but maybe they’re location-specific? For example, I grew up in the mountains, where fall and winter were magical times of year. They were my favorites, but now, living along the coast, our fall and winter have none of the pleasantries and all of the inconveniences. Here, summer’s really the season. I never previously considered that my preferences were based on where I live, but now, I have to admit that it’s possible.
Thanks for reading!
That's an interesting thought, about location. I lived most of my childhood in Texas, which had no autumn or winter to really speak of, and then my high school years in Iowa, which has a much more intense cold, but it's incredibly bright in the winter because the heaps of snow reflect the sun and the sky is so blue and clear. Now, I'm in Tennessee, which is sort of a weird half-cold, half-gloomy, half-colorful, and dark in the autumn/winter. But I have a bent towards seasonal affective disorder (no light = no energy), so the loss of light is the main source of my associations. I do think the pagan world/church calendar bears me out in thinking of the year as a cycle of life to decay to death to new life, though--even though all the seasons are beautiful in their own way! I'm definitely not oblivious to the magic of autumn, but it's a proper sense of magic--one that may be beautiful, but sad, or alluring, but not safe.
Also, sidenote, but your recent poem was great! Really enjoyed that one.
Hey, thanks! The lack of light is indeed an interesting problem. Where I am now, winter is for dark, gloomy days with fewer daylight hours. It’s pretty terrible. But when I was growing up, it was so bright from the sun and the snow that you needed sunglasses then, but far less so in the summer.
I also agree about natural cycles. Each year I’ve been trying to get more deliberate about respecting that.
Great essay! …Excessive Fall decor really can be so abrasive..Autumn is so short and beautiful …it really is a pity that people feel the need to mask this beauty instead of just letting it speak for itself. Love your thoughts on Durer too.
Thanks and thanks for reading! I think when I see all the crazy fall merch and everything, to me, it feels more like the old druidic rites--it's a way to try and cope with the dying of the seasons that happens as the year changes: the year gets dark and cold, and we want to be cozy and festive to fight that. (With the exception of Halloween, which is like, doors wide open.) So I understand the feeling like you need to "mask" what autumn itself is. But that's probably not what most people think when they buy a pumpkin spice latte. (I tend towards seasonal depression, so my read on autumn/winter is that it's just The Worst, and I know that's not how everyone feels.) I do think fall is beautiful, it's just beautiful 1) the way that tragic things are beautiful and 2) because it doesn't last, but leads back into spring, which is a lived reminder of the Resurrection. But maybe that's what you're saying too. :)
I think Robert Frost said it best:
"Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay."
Love that poem! Totally… That’s part of why the decorations are so irritating. They are up for pretty much the entire season bc it’s so short…I long for the undiluted beauty of trees without skeletons on them lol ….I was thinking of some of the poems from this piece by Robert Keim https://open.substack.com/pub/viamediaevalis/p/the-violin-song-of-autumn?r=9a2xe&utm_medium=ios
wow. this is so good!
Thanks!! I was worried the structure would be off-putting/confusing to folks so I’m glad you enjoyed :)
i found it suspenseful, partially because i expect some sneaky profound blitz of insight to confront me at the end like your last walk.
Haha, yeah, my favorite way to write an essay is to throw a bunch of images/stories at the reader and then at the very end be like, "look! Here's the point!" I get that from Annie Dillard. I appreciate you reading and the thoughts!
This is beautiful!
Thank you! :)